RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize