His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
