Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
