grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
