Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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