Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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