i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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