I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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