talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize