i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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