Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
