My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
