Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize