so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
