so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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