you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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