i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Alive.
So much puke
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
