He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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