Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
two words: eviction party
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
