so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
