Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish my penis had an off switch
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
