you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
