I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
