you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
