A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
