How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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