Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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