also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
