To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
