You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
