Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she peed on how many people?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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