That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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