I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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