I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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