FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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