??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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