found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
