you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
