the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
