Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
