i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
