so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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