Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
