on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There r osticjed everywhere
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
