Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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