how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize