How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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