He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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