Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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