would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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