the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
