I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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