k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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