So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
