guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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