remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think I am morally bankrupt
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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