you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
