Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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