I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
