i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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