Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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