I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
