She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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