somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize