You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The cops high fived after they tackled you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize