alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
