Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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