Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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