She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
