Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
