i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
