i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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