so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't turn off my feet"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
