I think im going to throw up on grandma
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
