That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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