So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize