Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
